Chasing down an elusive dream can sometimes wear one down, yet the passion is the fuel to keep it going. Many times we find ourselves in a place in time that runs perpendicularly to the direction we believe we should be. Mix in a bit of rapid fire tangents and a world you once knew will shift the continuum. We can learn to deal with it, or learn to accept it with the later of the more difficult. There also comes the self actualization that destiny does not manifest itself in a sense of utter lack of control, or rather we can affect our outcome, based on decisions we make. Sure there are things I’ve or we’ve needed to learn along the way, but each time life does what it does, we have a choice.

Life really isn’t difficult, if we break it down to it’s essentials. Really. Examine your own and search within. I think you’ll see it’s clear. The problem lies within our minds which cloud judgment and complicate things. I’ve really been living in a fog, feeling battered down mostly by my method of earning an income. It’s unfortunate that so much of how we as a society define ourselves is through what we do. I don’t have a career, what I do have is a job and I treat it as such. Now, the way I can control what it is that I need to do is explore various avenues because my head is filled with so many ideas and I tend to over think these ideas, thereby making them seem unattainable.

I’m a farmer in some ways. I cultivate ideas, nurture them and hope that one of them grows to fruition. Many times though I find myself spraying my own ideas with verbal pesticides in an effort to keep the weeds of doubt down to a minimum. When in reality I may have already killed off a perfectly good idea. There are two things I believe are going on here; a lack of permission from myself to explore an idea because it may not be the ‘perfect’ idea, and the other is due to as of late I’ve hit a stint of blockage. The perverbally plateau known as a slump.


If you’ve just got done reading the above post on our recent updates, I must say that the one yoga class we attended really helps with a general sense of cleansing and calming. I’ve never really practiced it before and figured I’d give it a shot. I will try it again, if anything it’ll help my body get a bit more in shape and help with my paddling skills. The mind/soul part will be an added bonus.

I also must admit, that the slump I’ve been in has been a struggle for me, from a creative and working standpoint. I’m not going to harp on that again, if you’ve read any of these posts you’ll get the gist, but I’ve been fortunate enough to start two new activities in my life, one is for me and the other is for us. Fishing and kayaking. Both are water activities and I’m a cancer so it just seems to make sense. The calming qualities of water and playing in and around it, help me to relax and find my center. I work hard each and every day to plow ahead, never giving up and always seeking out new opportunities to explore myself, my relationships, my craft and from those opportunities I grown and learn. I guess that’s where the whole wisdom thing comes from.


Posted on May 14, 2009, in Reflections and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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